I've never ever been told by a guy (other than my dad) that I'm beautiful...I want from the bottom of my soul for a guy to tell my I'm beautiful...I'm the opposite of skinny, I'm short, my eyes are just plain brown, and I was born with a mouth that only smiles a crooked smile...and I feel like I could never attract a man, because I never have...I'm well into my 20s and I have never had a boyfriend...
Why do I care about all that? Why? It's because like you've said, I haven't let my wonderful God to just fill me up from the inside out with his perfect unconditional love...
I love the Lord, he very well knows I love him so so so much...but I struggle with this mind set that society and satan have implanted in my brain that I'm not good enough, that I'm never gonna be good enough...not even good enough to be loved by God, the one and only that doesn't have any rules set to love you.
God tells me every day that I'm beautiful, he whispers it in my ear every moment or every day, every single time that I'm looking at myself in the mirror I can feel him saying it to me. And then...I shut him down...I shake it off and decide to question him...are you sure Lord? because I think you might be wrong...look at my face...do you see this stomach and this arms?...do you see my mouth? it still crooked and unattractive...I question everything...and by the time I'm done arguing with God and filling my own head with insults about myself...that sweet soothing voice of God is gone and replaced by the hate filled voice of the devil, telling me how ugly and unworthy I am, how I'm not worth fighting for, how I'm never gonna be told I'm beautiful, how I'm never gonna be loved...
The good thing is that God is still there...still trying to get a word in...trying to make me feel his love...trying to get inside my heart and show me how worthy of his love I am...how beautiful, special, unique and perfect I am...he still tries to put his arms around me and make me feel loved in every possible way...because he is a God of love, he IS love, he irradiates love and once I let him hold me in his arms I can't help but feel loved...every second, every moment of the day...I can't help but feel completely and fully loved...
***This is what I left to Christa Black as a comment to her latest blog and I wanted to share with everyone, because this is what blogging is all about, right? Hoping for other people to get to know me a bit better***
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