My Brother, My sister, My Soulmates

I'm sitting with my laptop on my...well...lap. Gigi, my dog sitting at my feet, warming them up. Lupita, my other dog in the couch next to me. Raul my brother is sitting in front of me, Rina my sister, is sitting on the floor eating pizza. We are getting ready to play Fact or Crap, we are probably gonna argue, laugh and throw things at each other, and it makes me happy. There's nothing I love more than hanging out with my brother and sister on friday nights playing board games, we talk about anything and everything, we gang up on each other and make fun of everything from my jonas obssesion to the way someone looked at the mall, we argue about how songs go, who's cool and who's not. All the while playing games and hitting Raul for cheating almost everytime time. I love them, I love them so much. This is what happiness is for me, this is how i'm content.

Since it's almost that day

It is so bad to long for a passionate love? I don't want to settle for mediocre love. I don't want to be with a guy just to have someone.
Just to be a couple.
Just to be accepted by society.
Just to make people less uncomfortable that I'm 26 years old and without a husband.
Just to not be alone.
For the first time in forever, I'm ok. I'm ok with being single, with being free, and it's true, I do long to love someone and to be loved. But I've seen what poor choices, poor expectations, and less than smart decisions do to people.
Everyone is so desperate to have someone in their lives, that they settle for anything, and don't search for that love that will change their lives, that will inspire them to be better, that will make them feel, love, smile, cry, belong, jump, rest, be content and satisfied.
I wanna be swept off my feet, and for some reason now a days, that is too much to ask for. I wanna feel the butterflies I felt with my first crush, I wanna hold hands with someone for hours and that be enough.
I wanna feel like that love is what God intended for me to wait for. I don't wanna date around just to say I looked.
I don't wanna have to be with a guy just because I think I can't do better, or maybe it's the last chance I'll get or maybe because there's nothing better out there.
"I'm not a princess. This ain't a fairytale" <-- I don't wanna be with someone and feel that. I don't have to broken hearted to see that someone can feel like that line says, just because the relationship their in, is not what they had long for.
I know God will write my love story, and because he is gonna write it I know it will be what I want, because he created me this way and will give me what I long for. Because if anyone knows how to write the perfect love story and make you feel like a princess, it's Him.

Faith

I wrote this in a piece of paper during church one day, I keep it in my Bible and read it often to remind myself that I need to have faith in the Lord, because after all, everything He has ever done for me , whether I have liked it or not, has brought me to a better place.

* Faith is trusting blindly that God is going to do what's best for us.

* When you pray for something with faith, it means that you are praying for God's will to be done. Not expecting to get the answer you want, but the answer you need.

* Sometimes the answer that God gives us might not be what we expected, but if we did pray with faith & we still have faith, we will know that the answer we got is what God intended for our lives, not only so that our lives are better, but also to get closer to Him.

* For those that love God & those that God loves, every tear and every pain has a purpose in their lives.

* What makes us so special that we think God owes us something? We owe Him our life, our salvation. He never told us that everything was going to be easy and free of suffering, but He did promise to be there to get us through it and that all of it was going to make us stronger.

And now, the verses that I read along with these are as follows:

Hebrews 11:1, 6 (NIV)
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

Romas 8: 24, 25 (New International Version)
"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? , But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. "

Romas 8: 28 (NIV)
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[j] who[k] have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8: 31-39 (NIV)
"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
As it is written:
For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Phillipians 4: 6,7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."


Psalms 37: 4-5
" Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he shall bring it to pass"


Thoughts?

Naps & JB

So I worked 4 shifts on a row, have today off and work again tomorrow....yeah I don't know why I do things like these to myself, my body and mind aches, I'm so exhausted, I mean....I didn't even wake up in time to go to church, which sucks because I love going to church, and I wanted to go to church, and I needed to go to church :(

Anywho, now I'm here trying to update this blog, but really I don't know what to talk about because I'm so tired my brain is not functioning right, and all I wanna do is take a nap....yeap! I'm that lazy, hahaha, but everyone that truly knows me knows I love naps like I love the Jonas Brothers, and that is major!!!

No TN dates??

I need to keep up with this, because I'm hoping people actually read what I write. I have the time, it's just that I waste it in other things, hahaha.
So sadly, last week was the first time a patient died under my care, good thing is that I didn't kill her, even thou I did. Let me explain, she was dying, only a machine was keeping her breathing, she was alert, awake, and after weeks of being this way...almost dying....her and her family realized she was delaying the inevitable, so I was asked to sedate her and let her go...easier said than done. It took forever to get enough medication in her system for her to sleep calmly, and when I removed the bipap, I realized I was letting someone die...lets just say, it was no fun at all.

Enough, about that, I don't need to relive that moment in my life, :)

I'm excited that Taylor Swift released the tour dates, but I'm pissed she isn't coming to TN! WTF is that?!?! Hopefully she'll add cities, or do special side concerts like she did last year, and come to Chattanooga again! Now I need JB, Demi and Miley to release dates so I can plan my summer and ask for days off and look forward to something :)