They know what they're doing to me and they make it look fo easy

**Ok this is a short version of the incredible day I had in Nashville, it's the review that I did for the show for www.honorsocietylive.com, if I were to write all of it...I would run out of space**

"Hello everyone, my name is Marisa and here is a recap on one of the best days ever!

Where to begin...ok so my sister Rina, my brother Raul and friend Claudia got to the venue (The Rutledge) around 1:30pm to start making the line, there were only about 6 people on the line which made me really happy...front row for sure! We waited...and waited...and waited. People weren't showing up because a lot of fans went to 107.5 the River for a free acoustic performance (which they did last time they were in Nashville and I had gone to it) So things were pretty quiet for a while. Around 4pm one of the people from the venue comes and tells us that due to Honor Society's plane getting in late and the performance at the radio station the show was pushed back 2 hours!!! So we ended up waiting for 6hrs because they didn't let us in until 7:30 pm. At the time it always seems ridiculous to wait for someone that long...but once you're inside it's all worth it. While outside we could hear Honor Society soundchecking and we all sang along to Full Moon Crazy...twice.

My friends and I got first row and I was next to some awesome girls I met outside in line (Cara and Erin)
We talked some, about our respective websites (mine being http://www.honorsocietypictures.org ...yes I just advertised myself, feel free to erase this part HSLive) and that's when Inter Adam (from 107.5 the river) came out to introduce Esmee Denters and then she came out...she was good. But I always find it awkward when male bands have female openers...it just doesn't feel right to have a girl sing you love songs, which it's what Esmee was doing...completely awkward.

With her set done and the crew getting the stage set up for Honor Society Erin and I started plotting how to take the setlist after the show :) and once they taped the setlist to the floor it dawned on me that I was first row to see Honor Society again and I got crazy excited and nervous. Excited because I was gonna get to see Honor Society, nervous because I was seeing Honor Society from so close...and when I say close I mean close! So close that Andy's microphone was inches from my face. I love being in a room full of fans as the anticipation of seeing your favorite band starts building up and you feel like the whole room is about to explode with excitement.

With that being said...they totally psyshed us out a few times...first with the fog machine, which lead to fans thinking HS was coming out, which made everyone scream. PSYCH!

Then they dimmed all the lights, which again lead all the fans to believe that they were coming out, which made everyone scream...PSYCH AGAIN!

But like they always say, thirth time's a charm...all the lights when out and BAM! Honor Society comes in and it felt like the whole bulding was shacking because of all the screaming going on...and I LOVED IT! Of course I was also screaming bloody murder.

First song..."Full Moon Crazy" with an arranged intro that was complete tease-worthy, getting us all excited and then stopping, then getting us all excited again and stopping again. Watch this and you'll know what I mean http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Km3Evon0tW0 let's just say, they know how to keep us fans hooked, hahaha.

"Full Moon Crazy" set the mood for the night and the instant they started singing the party was started. And believe me, the night was a party!! Fun Fact. I actually had to control myself from stretching my hand too much, because everytime I would, I would be in danger of touching Andy or whoever came to sing in front of me and I didn't want them to think I was molesting them.

Next in line was "Sing For You" which of course got us all jumping and after that a classic and a crowd pleaser "Two Rebels" (oh oh do you trust me enough...sorry I just have to sing every time that song is mentioned). "Where are you now" was next and then "My Own Way" which I love, speacially when everyone in the crowd starts waving their hands from side to side, love it!

"Here Comes Trouble" was next...and man I love that song so much! They also did a little arrangement to this song, a very slow intro, here's a video of it http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S8WIdYzzfO8 ...and I stopped writing and watched that video twice, I just love that song so much, it's such a fun song!I like to pretend I'm the girl they're singing about (oh hush, you know you do too!) Hahahaha. After that they did a cover of "You really got me" that's gonna be appearing in Alvin and The Chipmunks 2...awesome!!! I loved it, they added their little twist to it, a little bit of gentlemen-ess, a bit of funk and a whole lot of awesomeness into the mix and the song rocked!!

After that song, Alex came down from the drums and it was time for "Don't Close the Book"...but not before the boys teasing all of us again with their towels full of sweat (how sexy...haha)...are they throwing them to the crowd...no...yes...no...yes...YES!!! And that's when Alex came to our side to say hi to the crowd and I was almost squished to death, hahaha. He grabbed my hand and said "hey what's up"...he recognized me, why does he always catches me by surprise like that? I always think he is the least likely to remember me, but I'm always wrong...he always remembers me. Of course the song is always amazing, so beautiful and the crowd singing it in unison makes it that much chill-worthy.

Next up, another classic with a twist "Why Didn't I" and after that "Nobody Has To Know" which also happens to be a favorite of mine (let me see you bounce...), the bass in this song is amazing, and I'm not saying this just because I love Andy...I'm saying it because it's true, my favorite part of this is song is the bass! You can feel it in your chest cavity, making you lungs and heart vibrate, love it!

"Over You" next, cue scream until your throat bleeds. I pointed to Alex and he pointed at me...clearly he is not over me...hahaha, just kidding (I don't want my sister to kill me in my sleep).

Clap, Clap, Clap..."you were always the girl..." even more screams. "See U in the Dark" is the perfect classic to finish the song with, I believe 99% of the people in the crowd were honor rolling they A**es off. As the song finished a younger fan (read: clearly a teenie) jumped on stage and hugged all the guys, they were laughing. And after that they all took a group bow and left.

But of course with the gentlemen, the party never stops there. Got to do the greet and meet thanks to the fanclub. And in this part I'm just gonna go fast couse I don't want it to sound like I'm showing off. I got hand hugs and had someone get my meet and greet picture from the summer to be signed by them. After that we went inside the venue again and hung out with them and maybe 10 more fans for 40 minutes talking about anything and everything. Got pictures and countless hugs, made jokes, talked with Alex and Andrew about "the thing" that ended up confusing everyone around us because no one was getting it that we were just talking about nothing in particular, hence "the thing". Andy gave me his pick, and got him to listen to my ringtone (the gentlemen's club song) and of course he thought it was the coolest thing ever. Talked about failblog, FML and told him to check out peopleofwalmart.com...more hug and more laughs, they have to leave, hugs again, Andrew accidentally hits my sister in the head and he says its a love bump, gah I love him. I didn't want to leave but at the same time I didn't want to take time away from them. So we left...and that was a super extra short version of everything that went on that night, because believe me, even though this is long, it doesn't begin to cover the epicness of that night. Nashville is always one my favorite places to see bands, it never dissapoints, something epic always happends. Believe me.

Marisa M."

Taylor Swift and something about bitches

I always want to update my blog, but I never have anything interesting to say...at least not interesting for people to care about. But given the fact that I don't have many readers at all, I guess I can just blab away. Of course, now that I'm here trying to write...I don't know what to write, hahaha!

Ok, so last weekend Rina and I went to Nashville and saw Taylor Swift in concert....wooooo!! her show is pretty amazing, we didn't have the best seats in the house, but they weren't that bad at all. The girls that sat next to us were talkers...as in, they started talking to us since they got there, and kept asking questions nonstop, it wasn't so much annoying, but it was funny...I'm used to talking to random girls and having conversations with strangers at Jonas concerts...and I've been to several non-jonas concerts and we've never talked to the fans around us. I thought it was just a Jonas fans thing. Hahahaha.

Anywho, we knew Taylor was gonna have something special in store for the Nashville show, after all it's her homecoming show...we debated and debated who was gonna come sing with her, my first thought was Faith Hill, since she's such a huge fan...then of course Rina and I started to let out delusions left and right...Rascal Flatts...Justin Timberlake...John Mayer...Miley Cyrus...Demi Lovato...Joe Jonas....you name it, we thought about it. But my instinct were right, and she brought Faith Hill on stage and they sang "The Way You Love Me"... the crowd went WILD!!! I love it when the crowd just looses it and goes craaaaazy. Anyways....we had fun, lots of fun.

On to a less exciting note...work...it still full of drama, unnecessary drama at that. All I need to focus on in my love for nursing, and taking care of my patients and ignore the bitches that want to bring me down. There's no point in worrying about them...they'll sow what the fruits of their actions in time.

Now I'm done, because they can get long and boring, once I start writing I don't know how to stop :)

Jesus loves me this I know...

I've never ever been told by a guy (other than my dad) that I'm beautiful...I want from the bottom of my soul for a guy to tell my I'm beautiful...I'm the opposite of skinny, I'm short, my eyes are just plain brown, and I was born with a mouth that only smiles a crooked smile...and I feel like I could never attract a man, because I never have...I'm well into my 20s and I have never had a boyfriend...

Why do I care about all that? Why? It's because like you've said, I haven't let my wonderful God to just fill me up from the inside out with his perfect unconditional love...

I love the Lord, he very well knows I love him so so so much...but I struggle with this mind set that society and satan have implanted in my brain that I'm not good enough, that I'm never gonna be good enough...not even good enough to be loved by God, the one and only that doesn't have any rules set to love you.

God tells me every day that I'm beautiful, he whispers it in my ear every moment or every day, every single time that I'm looking at myself in the mirror I can feel him saying it to me. And then...I shut him down...I shake it off and decide to question him...are you sure Lord? because I think you might be wrong...look at my face...do you see this stomach and this arms?...do you see my mouth? it still crooked and unattractive...I question everything...and by the time I'm done arguing with God and filling my own head with insults about myself...that sweet soothing voice of God is gone and replaced by the hate filled voice of the devil, telling me how ugly and unworthy I am, how I'm not worth fighting for, how I'm never gonna be told I'm beautiful, how I'm never gonna be loved...

The good thing is that God is still there...still trying to get a word in...trying to make me feel his love...trying to get inside my heart and show me how worthy of his love I am...how beautiful, special, unique and perfect I am...he still tries to put his arms around me and make me feel loved in every possible way...because he is a God of love, he IS love, he irradiates love and once I let him hold me in his arms I can't help but feel loved...every second, every moment of the day...I can't help but feel completely and fully loved...


***This is what I left to Christa Black as a comment to her latest blog and I wanted to share with everyone, because this is what blogging is all about, right? Hoping for other people to get to know me a bit better***

I quick rundown on the adventure of a lifetime

So...this happens all the time so I shoudn't be surprised. Once I sit to finally write something my mind goes blank and I don't know what to write about. But I guess even if I'm not inspired to write still have stuff to tell you all about.

First off, on Aug. 16 I went to my second Jonas show, which was fantastic! I had 8th row, but the way it was set up, we ended up being 4th row...eep! Got some amazing pics. Got meet and greet pics with Honor Society...who btw recognized me from DC as soon as I entered the room. It took me completely by surprise. After the concert we drove back home and slept for a few hrs before we took off to Orlando. In Orlando we saw Honor Society at the HOB in Downtown Disney, Andrew said hi to me from the stage, eep! We did meet and greets again that night, there were so adorable and nice. Then the next day we hung out at the Outlets in I-Drive, ate at the CheeseCake Factory (my fav. restaurant) with friends. Went to sleep super late talking and just plain doing nothing. The next day we went to Disney World...yay!! I know people don't understand me or my love for that place, but it is truly one of my favorite places to be...I completely let go of my worries and enjoy the day to the max. I'm a kid at heart, and my heart rejoices every time I go to Disney. I can't explain it, but I know there are people out there (like my sister and some of my friends) that understand completely what I mean.

At Disney, we went to Magic Kingdom, Epcot and Disney's Hollywood Studios, all in the same day, which left me at the end of the night, with the soarest legs I had had in years. Lack of sleep, jumping at concerts, standing in line for hrs, the heat, the lack of nutritional food, the overdrinking of sodas and not enough water, long hrs of driving...it all was starting to take a toll on me, and on friday I had to work. But thank God I was cancelled and got to sleep all day and gain back my strength.

On Monday Aug 24th, we took off to Nashville and went straight to 105.7 The River radio station to see Honor Society...again. I just love those boys sooo much! Got to seat front row, the boys hen they came in, immediately recognized me. Andrew winked at me 2 times! They answered my question about if I could be their nurse on tour, the laughed so hard :) Michael gave me his gitar pick. Then we did meet and greet pics. After that we hung out with out friends around the radio station and then took off to our hotel that happened to be next to the Hermitage where JB's band was staying, so we saw Garbo and Ryan smoking cigars (which was the biggest turn off ever for me)...but to our surprise, unexpectedly we see Nick Jonas come out of the hotel and bam! I took a pic with him and Papa J...it still hasn't hit me, really...
That night again we met him, Rina took a pic with him, he asked me if I wanted a picture but his security guard (Mike) kept trying to take him away so I just said no, cause I felt bad.
9 girls slept in the same hotel room...yeah...that was interesting.

On tuesday, concert day...we saw Nick Jonas again, this time I just recorded him being the perfect boy he is, and admired from the distance, hahaha. The FurBus girls reunited...Kasey, Ashley, Ciera, Rina and I. But I just realized that we didnt take a pic together...booo! After that we ate, saw the band again, walked to the venue and hung around until concert time...also saw Christa Black. The concert was one of the loudest, funnest concerts I have been to...it started with Honor Society and the crowd went insane, you could see in their faces that they were taken aback by how much the crowd was screaming for them. After their set we took off for meet and greets with HS again...and Gio, their security guard was gonna give me the instructions and he goes "never mind, you know the drill, you've done this plenty of times" which completely took me by surprise, because he recognized me, that is amazing! After the meet and greets, it was concert time and we barely made it on time! But the concert was fantastic!!!! so much fun!!! I wanted to cry 'cause it was my last JB concert, but I was having too good of a time to think too much about it.

After the concert, we tried going to eat to our favorite place...jack in the box, but it was closed....wtf??? After that we said our goodbyes and all the girls went their own way...well, actually Rina and I went out way and the rest went another way to their next concert...luckies.

And that was my adventure...2 weeks of just complete craziness, fun, laughs, sweat, jumps and just complete joy. I know I rushed through it...believe me, so much happened that I would have to write for few hrs, and I'm not exaggerating either, it was fantastic!!!

More about nothing and a birthday

So I'm officially a year older than before...but a lady never reveals her age, so try guessing how old I am...damn! Who am I kidding, everyone knows my age, I am now 27 years OLD. My birthday was not very out of the ordinary, was at home by myself until like 5pm, tried going shopping and by myself some presents, but that was a total fail. Then bought me some yummy Ice Cream cake for that night. The best part was at night, because my dad grilled some meat, ribs and chicken, my mom made some amazing potato salad that I love. The food was amazing and got to eat with my family, who I love the most in the whole world!

So many things have happened in the last year that I now realize thinking about it. At this time last year I was still finishing things for the new unit (for those that don't know, unit is a floor/area in the hospital), I was getting ready for my first Jonas Brothers concert. Through out the year, I've improved as a nurse in so many levels, I've slowly started accepting myself the way I am, I have embraced my singleness and decided to enjoy it to the fullest. I've gone to many concerts, driven countless hours for them. I've embark in adventures with my faithful companion, best friend - my sister. I've let go of many things that used to hold me back, and I've started to learn how to have fun again. I've met so many new people...people that before I would have never talked to. I've fallen in love with music again...for a while I had given up on it.

But there is a bizillion things that I haven't accomplished in live that I thought I would by this age, but if I start thinking about them, I'll curl up into a ball in bed with a bucket of ice cream next to me and only songs that make me cry playing on my ipod. hahaha. And of course I'm nowhere near where I wanna be on my relationship with God, but that of course is all my fault. Another not so great thing that happened this past year, is my brother separating from his wife. I wanna cry everytime I think about it. I know some people are like, so what, everyone get a divorce. But I never thought it would actually happen to my brother and Amber. And Amber such a big part of out family, she was basically my sister too, one of my best friends. She was a daughter to my parents, even my dogs loved her. All my pictures from the past 4-5 years, she's in them, our family pictures have always included her. It's been 7 months since she told him she wanted to separate, and there's still no explanation for it. I'm still in the dark, trying to figure out what happened. It kills me to see my brother hurting. And I'm gonna stop now 'cause my eyes are getting watery.

Amongst other things, I got the results of my genetic testing, and I do not have Lynch Disease, which basically means that I don't have a mutated gene. If I did, I would have an 80% of getting colon cancer again by the time I'm 35, and a 78% of getting uterine cancer by the time I'm 40, amongst several other cancers. But now, I can relax because my chances of getting those cancers are like anyone else in the world. Of course the doctors are still worried because I was so young when I got colon cancer and because no one in my family has a history of it, so when it comes to that type of cancer I'm still at risk, and I still have to have a colonoscopy every year...yuck! And by yuck I mean, disgusting crap that I have to drink to....crap. I don't care about the tube shoved up my butt because well...I don't even realized it because I'm so drugged up during the procedure. And by the way, not to sound weird, but I love that feeling of getting anesthesia, that moment when you feel the medicine enter your body, and you get really sleepy, and I put my life on God's hand and fall asleep into one of the most profound sleeps ever, and when you wake up is all over, and you don't even know the time of the day. Yeah, so people freak out about that. I, in the other hand, love it!

Of course, I'm not really normal, I have no shame to talk about penises, poop, and weird things on people's bodies. I've only been a nurse for 5 years, but I've seen my share of things, and I love to share it with the world, of course, the world hates it when I share it. That's why, I love joking around with my fellow nurses, they understand...and sometimes we sit around sharing the nastiest, grosses things we can think of, just to see who gets grossed out first. I know...nasty and crazy, but that's the nurses' humor for you.

And I just went off on a tangent...so I'm gonna stop writing before I start telling you people about stuff I shouldn't be sharing about patients. Tomorrow I'm going to Nashville to see Demi Lovato in concert, should be fun.

Something about love maybe

So nothing interesting is going on in my life right now. I'm always doing something, but I don't think anything is worth mentioning.

One of my best friends (she's from Orlando) is getting married this Saturday. I found this out from another good friend, not even from her! I had to find out that she had a boyfriend through facebook, and I thought they had known each other for a while. Come to find out she's known him for like a month and they've been dating for only 3 weeks!! He's from Morocco, his visa expires in January, he barely speaks the language and he's muslim. I'm not sure how to tell her not to do it. I don't want her to get mad at me and then not talk to me period. I'm just afraid that she's going to marry him because she thinks she won't have another chance to marry someone, that she won't fin someone to love her. Believe me, sometimes I'm scare I'll do the same. Sometimes think that if someone comes around that likes me but he's not good for me, I'm gonna be with him because I don"t think I'm gonna find someone else to love me.

.....

On another note...Christa Black majorly rules! Her blogs make me cry, she writes as she is reading my thoughts, how amazing is that? Today she wrote about crushes...and damn! she's good. Becausse she posted it as I was writing about my friend. Just in time...just as I was to stupidly write that I at least want someone to crush on that not have anyone at all in my life.

"i would pray and pray and pray that God would take it away....but i thought so much about him, it was impossible not to feel something. i didn't have anyone around me i was even remotely attracted to...so it became very easy to glorify this situation, and make it a heck of a lot bigger than it actually was. and as sad as this sounds....because i never had anyone, the torture of liking someone who didn't like me back was better than having no one on the horizon. or at least i thought." - Christa Black

That right there is exactly what my life has been about for the last....hmmm....3 years? Then she goes on and writes this

"i gave my heart to someone...the thing that my life flowed out of...my emotions, my days...my speech...EVERYTHING....i handed that heart to someone who had never fought to pursue it, or even shown interest to earn it. your soul is your mind, your will, and your emotions, and i'd handed him my soul without him doing anything. it did nothing to affect him....but it was ruining every day of my life."

There is nothing more that a woman wants than to be persued and have a man fight for her heart, to make her feel worth the persue. And when I read this, it hit me...when did I forget about all of this? when did I forget about what I always wanted? A guy that will fight for me. I want to be loved, treasured, feel beautiful, held tightly, romanced. And I will be praying for that from now on. I'm gonna stop writing now, because I have a few tears rolling down my face, and I'm afraid I'm gonna start rambling.


PS. This song by Christa Black is just.....perfect

HOLDING MY HEART

why do you have to be everything i'm looking for
why do you have to be something that i don't have
why do our worlds collide when you live far on the other side
there must be a million miles between everything we are

why do i miss you when i've never had you and
why do i give something that you've never earned

CHORUS:
why are you holding my heart
why are you holding my heart (when you don't even know)
you're holding my heart
why are you holding my heart
when you don't even know

know that you hold the keys
i shouldn't have put into your hands
without knowing anything
without knowing enough

how do i fight something when i'm so tired of feeling
and why do i give what you haven't yet deserved

CHORUS:
why are you holding my heart
why are you holding my heart (when you don't even know)
you're holding my heart
why are you holding my heart
when you don't even know

BRIDGE:
it's been three years, three years too long
i've climbed this hill
i've prayed to rewrite the song
but when i see you all my walls fall down, down, down
down, down, down

www.myspace.com/christablack

Cake & Ice Cream

It's friday...basically family night. I'm sitting in the couch in our living room, and my family surrounds me. My aunt, uncle and cousin are here from Argentina, and I'm so happy for my dad, he is so happy to see his sister. I haven't seen this aunt since I was like 7 years old, so basically its been almost 20 years ago.

I love this, I love being with my family, just hanging out and talking about everything. The TV is off, no music playing, my dog in my lap, there's ice cream and cake from my uncle's bday, life's good.

What kinda depresses me is the fact that I have to work tomorrow. I've been off for a week and its been incredible. Going back to that place where I work sucks. Don't get me wrong, I love being a nurse, I just hate that where I work I don't trust people, only like 3 nurses I trust, the rest have failed me, that place is like high school, so much drama, so uncalled for! But I don't wanna offend anyone, so I won't say anything else. All I know is that my job has becomed not very enjoyable because of the drama.

Right now, I'm gonna finish enjoying my night with my family! God loves me, he has to! He gave so much, there's just no other explaination that the fact that He loves me!

D.C. Adventure

I wished I had written this blog sooner, because now I have forgotten details that I wanted to mention here. But anywho...here I go.
My mom, sister, Claudia (friend) and I took off to Washington D.C. on Saturday morning and we arrived to our hotel around 8pm. I feel in love with D.C. the minute we drove into the city. The buildings, the streets, everything about it, I just loved it. That night since we were so tired from the 9hr drive, Rina and Claudia went to the pool and I stayed in bed, watching TV.
The next day, waking up super early I did my hair and then we took off to explore the city, which was both exhausting and exhilarating. Walking and walking and walking, in the sun and in the heat, truly took it out of me, but seeing all those amazing buildings and museums made it all worth it. The one place that I was beyond ecstatic to go to was the National Museum of Natural History. I wanted to go to that museum since the first day I found out about it...which was maybe when I was like 12. I loved it, all of it, just loved it. Of course we saw the White House, the Capitol, and lots of other places. That night when we got back to the hotel, I thought my legs were gonna fall off!

The next day was Jonas/HS day! Woke up early to get ready, because we knew JB was having a softball game and we wanted to be ready as soon as they announced where they were gonna be....well the bastards never announced where they were, we drove around forever trying to find where they could be having the game...but no luck! We stopped by their hotel....not sure why because we knew they were at the game, we saw some fans there, but we left. We then went to put gas, get some water and some coke and then off we went to the Verizon store somewhere in Virginia to see Honor Society. I was soooo excited, we met them and got pics with them, they were soooo sweet and adorable, gah I love them. I told Andrew Lee that I drove all the way from TN and he couldn't believe it!

Right after that, we drove back to D.C. and went to the courtyard between the movie theater and the Verizon Center where HS was having an acoustic set. We stood in the sun for 1hr, sweated buckets, I seriously thought I was gonna end up passing out if I didn't get out of the sun soon, but then HS came out and it was all worth it, they killed it!!!

After that, we could've started the line to get into the venue for Jonas, but we were so sweaty, tired, dehydrated, that we went to our hotel, which btw was 2 blocks from the venue. And refreshed ourselves, layed in bed for a bit, re-did out make-up, etc. We were ready to party! When we got to the venue there was a line around the block....insane!!!! So we got in late, ugh! We missed the HS entrance, I was sooo mad, but we only missed a few minutes of it, and when we got to our seats, we couldn't believe the view from them, they were soooo good. We were section 105 row K.

The show was amazing! There aren't words to describe how much fun it was and how good the boys were, I actually can't remember the show....it always happens, I enjoy the show and then get out of it and don't remember what just happened. After the show we ran to the venue where Honor Society was having their show at 11pm. My mom and Claudia were doing the line for us, so we got to be front row, yay!!!! At the show, we had soooo much fun, we danced, jumped, screamed and sang so lound, it was amazing! Honor Society was amazing, they did so good!! Of course another plus of that show was when Nick, Joe and Garbo showed up at the concert. They were in the balcony and they were so adorable, specially Nick, dancing and singing to all the songs! And since we were first row, we could see them really well and super close. Our friend Claudia looked hilarious freaking out when she saw Nick, it was her first time seeing him in person, ever!

After the show, we went to the meet & greet with HS, they were so nice, Andy, Michael and Alex remembered me from seeing me around all day, Alex actually said that he remembered seeing me at the Verizon Store....gosh I looooove them, they were amazingly sweet and so excited about having fans. Cannot wait to see them again!!! We got to the hotel at like 2am and that's about it in a nutshell....I could've given a lot of details, but I know this is long already.

The point of the story is that we had an amazing, fun time...I wish we could relive those days again!!

The rear is ok

I had a colonoscopy today. Everything was ok, nothing major was found.
After years of fear, I have had a colonoscopy again. 5 years ago, a routine colonoscopy showed to be a small tragedy, I had colon cancer. Now 5 years later, I can sit in this chair and rest for while, knowing that at this point in time, I'm a cancer survivor, cancer free, nothing to fear, at least for another year.
I can say now, that I'm gonna be able to enjoy my summer fully. And my first stop is Washington DC, for a Jonas Brothers concert and Honor Society Concert, yay!!! Too excited for words!!!

He speaks to me

I'm sitting on dam, in the middle of a forest, the moon is shinning bright, the brezze is blowing through my hair, listening to nature sing their joy to the wind, hanging out with my sister. Sometimes, I wonder how people cannot believe in a God that has created every single thing around us to bring joy to our hearts. I wonder how can I ever dare to doubt the love that he has for me.

I close my eyes now and let the wind talk to me, I can listen God's voice telling me I'm loved by Him. I close my eyes, and I feel the grass under me showing me how gentle God's touch is.
I hear crickets sing to the God that created them, they don't know what tomorrow is gonna bring, but they don't worry about it, right now they are singing praises to the Lord that got them through the day.

He made me less than the angels but he gave me everything He had, His only begotten Son, because He loves me so much that He couldn't bare see me unsaved.
One more time I close my eyes, and this time is to talk to Him and thank Him for loving me even when I seem to have forgotten about him. Because even when I less expect me he wispers in my ear the words of comfort I wanna hear.

Nothing Really

I'm sitting here, laughing about such stupid stuff with my sister. When I say stupid stuff, I mean stupid, and we just laugh non-stop....I love it!!! I love hanging out with her, especially on Friday nights...harlot! Bahahaha, see....stupid stuff.

Right now she's straightening my hair, no one has died from it yet...earlier I was straightening hers and there was vapors coming out of her that were making me choke, and she was choking too, we couldn't breath, true story.

And I'm just typing stupid stuff, nothing interesting, mostly because I worked 16 hours yesterday and my brain is still not fully functional.

I want to write an awesome blog but my brain is seriously not letting me do it...I suck!!! So anywho...Happy Sabbath everyone!

When family ruins plans!

Ok, apparently I suck at updating blogs, but oh well, I think we all knew that.
What's new with me, not much really. My life is not that interesting as we all know. I'm kinda mad and worried right now, my aunt and her family that are coming to visit from Argentina told my dad that she is coming on July 13th. No a big deal right? WRONG!!! That's the day of the Jonas Brothers Concert in Washington DC. My family and I were planning on going for like 5 days to do some sightseeing, and have a family vacation, but noooooo, now my parents can't go, therefore less money available to travel. I was counting on my parents paying for the hotel which gave me enough money to cover gas and other things. Now I'm on my own, to pay for a trip that's gonna be so expensive, and I don't have the moola for it. I'm gonna have to use my credit card that I didnt even want to touch unless there was an emergency. My sister can't help me because she only makes enough to pay for gas and her cellphone.

This effing sucks! Along with the fact that since my aunt is coming, my whole family is gonna go to Disney World the week after the JB concert, but not me....why? because I have to work! In my job I don't get to pick my days off a few weeks ahead like everyone else. Nope, I have to make my schedule about 6 weeks in advance, which means my precious aunt should've told us sooner that she was coming. And I don't wanna be too mad around my dad because he hasn't seen his sister in like 10 years, and I haven't seen my aunt in like 20 years. I should be so excited, but my selfish pissed off side is stronger right now.

But in other news, I guess I should be exited that I'm gonna see Jonas and Honor Society in 3 weeks! And I am!! But most of all I'm nervous and anxious and freaking out a bit. I always get too anxious before something like this. I don't sleep well, I'm serious all the time, I'm worried and short tempered. I hate it! I know I'm gonna have a blast, but my anxiety gets the best of me everytime.

In other announcements, I got tickets to see Miley Cyrus in Memphis (4th row) and Nashville (2nd row) I'm so beyond stoked, because I've never seen Miley in the flesh, and now my sister and I are gonna get to see her from so close! ahhhhhhh!!!! I love her!

Ok, now I'm just rambling and talking crap, which means I'm gonna stop writing because I have nothing interesting to say.

Aparently JB is right....everyone is allergic to poison ivy

Ok so....I was supposed to update on my week off, but of course it didn't happen, not completely by choice thou. I went camping with the family and we had planned to stay for 2 days but ended up staying for 4 days.

It was fun, and tiring. My sister, our friend Claudia and I were going to sleep around midnight or later and my parents were waking us up by like 7am, so I didn't get the rest the I wanted. Got to enjoy nature's beautiful views and sounds and smells, made bonfires (or tried at least), eat "asado" (argentinian style grilled meat), read a lot....a lot, spent a night cold allllllll night, went fishing and didnt catch anything except for sunburn, took awesome pics, laughed with my siblings, made silly videos with Raul and Rina, watched movies, played games, sat in the silence of nature and just did nothing but take it all in, bought cool bracelets with actual bugs in them, saw the hottie of all hotties (he was H.O.T hot!), argued with my family because I didn't wanna stay extra days, argued some more but didn't win, whatever...ate smoked turkey legs, watch Rina and Claudia fry and eat 3 of the smallest fish ever caught and leave the camper's kitchen full of oil....everywhere!

Drove to almost Mississipi to leave the camper where my dad is gonna stay, discovered a super cool cementery with super old tumbs, there were people borned in the 1700s, you know that's cool! Anywho....that's pretty much it, did a lot of nothing,

but that's what camping and relaxing and vacation is all about, right? at least for me :)

So...

Ok so....I know hardly anyone follows my blogs, so I know they haven't been missed. But for those who do take the time....thank you and I'm sorry, it's been longer than a month since I've updated this thing, and I have no excuse but laziness, but I have a week off now, so hopefully I will be updating about my latest trips to Nashville and South Carolina, so...good night everyone, until next time :)

Life....enjoy it today, tomorrow is another day

So my parents were talking about how they don't know where they'll be in 10 years, because they won't be able to afford paying the mortgage then, and things are gonna get harder because we kids aren't gonna be around to help with money and are gonna have our own families to take care of and things like that.
I got really mad, because the reason people in general don't enjoy life it's because they live thinking and worrying about the future. They don't enjoy the blessings of today, of the present. Yes, I know that you shouldn't have some plans....ok that's a good responsible way to live, but to get depressed NOW about what might happen 10 years from today? No, no way of living for sure.
God will provide for our needs always, and today He has provided for us, so let us enjoy it to the maximum and lay our heads to sleep knowing that tomorrow He will provide again.
Besides, my parents shouldn't worry about me not caring for them anymore....they raised me, they know how important my family is to me, they know that they come before anyone in my life and that I love them more than anything, that I won't ever let them suffer needs, shame on them, shame!

Friday Night, Tickets, Orlando & TN

Here I am again, on a Friday night, doing nothing, which perfectly ok with me. I guess my religion helps to make Friday nights so peaceful and great. We clean, clean, clean, then the family gets together to welcome the Sabbath, we eat pizza made by mom or dad, talk about everything imaginable, eating pizza every single friday is a tradition, not only in my house but with my entire family from my mom's side, and actually I think it is very common for a lot of SDAs in my country to eat pizza on Friday Nights. It is awesome.

Tomorrow I work, yuck! There's nothing more that I hate than working on a Sabbath, but hopefully it will be ok, nothing too crazy, I'll get through hopefully unharmed and get the weekend of work over with.

So anywho, Rina and I got tickets to see Taylor Swift on April 30th in South Carolina and I cannot wait! I'm so excited, our seats are on the floor, pretty close to the catwalk, not as close as I wanted it to be, specially since last time I saw her we were 5th row, dead center. But at least we are getting to go see her, because the concert sold out so freaking fast, we had to resort to eBay tickets, which aren't the cheapest.

Also, in May my family and I are going to Orlando to Disney. I'm sooooo freaking excited about that, it's been almost a year since I've been to Disney and that is the longest I've gone without going to Disney. I miss being able to go at least once a month when I lived in Orlando. I miss Orlando a lot. I miss Haydemary and Yari, and I miss all my trips to Downtown Disney and the parks, it was always so much fun. But I do like TN, it's so much calmer and the weather is nice, no hurracaines to worry about, I love my house, my job, the mountains. But I don't like that everything closes soooo early, and that there aren't many things to do that don't involve going drinking and clubbing. I need Disney parks, places to walk and go eat with friends. But it's all good, I'm here for a reason....I think....hopefully I'll find out soon what that reason is for...hahaha

Ok enough non sense babbling, I'm gonna go read something and then to bed, 'cause I gotta get up early!!

My Brother, My sister, My Soulmates

I'm sitting with my laptop on my...well...lap. Gigi, my dog sitting at my feet, warming them up. Lupita, my other dog in the couch next to me. Raul my brother is sitting in front of me, Rina my sister, is sitting on the floor eating pizza. We are getting ready to play Fact or Crap, we are probably gonna argue, laugh and throw things at each other, and it makes me happy. There's nothing I love more than hanging out with my brother and sister on friday nights playing board games, we talk about anything and everything, we gang up on each other and make fun of everything from my jonas obssesion to the way someone looked at the mall, we argue about how songs go, who's cool and who's not. All the while playing games and hitting Raul for cheating almost everytime time. I love them, I love them so much. This is what happiness is for me, this is how i'm content.

Since it's almost that day

It is so bad to long for a passionate love? I don't want to settle for mediocre love. I don't want to be with a guy just to have someone.
Just to be a couple.
Just to be accepted by society.
Just to make people less uncomfortable that I'm 26 years old and without a husband.
Just to not be alone.
For the first time in forever, I'm ok. I'm ok with being single, with being free, and it's true, I do long to love someone and to be loved. But I've seen what poor choices, poor expectations, and less than smart decisions do to people.
Everyone is so desperate to have someone in their lives, that they settle for anything, and don't search for that love that will change their lives, that will inspire them to be better, that will make them feel, love, smile, cry, belong, jump, rest, be content and satisfied.
I wanna be swept off my feet, and for some reason now a days, that is too much to ask for. I wanna feel the butterflies I felt with my first crush, I wanna hold hands with someone for hours and that be enough.
I wanna feel like that love is what God intended for me to wait for. I don't wanna date around just to say I looked.
I don't wanna have to be with a guy just because I think I can't do better, or maybe it's the last chance I'll get or maybe because there's nothing better out there.
"I'm not a princess. This ain't a fairytale" <-- I don't wanna be with someone and feel that. I don't have to broken hearted to see that someone can feel like that line says, just because the relationship their in, is not what they had long for.
I know God will write my love story, and because he is gonna write it I know it will be what I want, because he created me this way and will give me what I long for. Because if anyone knows how to write the perfect love story and make you feel like a princess, it's Him.

Faith

I wrote this in a piece of paper during church one day, I keep it in my Bible and read it often to remind myself that I need to have faith in the Lord, because after all, everything He has ever done for me , whether I have liked it or not, has brought me to a better place.

* Faith is trusting blindly that God is going to do what's best for us.

* When you pray for something with faith, it means that you are praying for God's will to be done. Not expecting to get the answer you want, but the answer you need.

* Sometimes the answer that God gives us might not be what we expected, but if we did pray with faith & we still have faith, we will know that the answer we got is what God intended for our lives, not only so that our lives are better, but also to get closer to Him.

* For those that love God & those that God loves, every tear and every pain has a purpose in their lives.

* What makes us so special that we think God owes us something? We owe Him our life, our salvation. He never told us that everything was going to be easy and free of suffering, but He did promise to be there to get us through it and that all of it was going to make us stronger.

And now, the verses that I read along with these are as follows:

Hebrews 11:1, 6 (NIV)
"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."

Romas 8: 24, 25 (New International Version)
"For in this hope we were saved. But hope that is seen is no hope at all. Who hopes for what he already has? , But if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently. "

Romas 8: 28 (NIV)
"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,[j] who[k] have been called according to his purpose."

Romans 8: 31-39 (NIV)
"What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?
He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things?
Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies.
Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us.
Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword?
As it is written:
For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

Phillipians 4: 6,7
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus."


Psalms 37: 4-5
" Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he shall bring it to pass"


Thoughts?

Naps & JB

So I worked 4 shifts on a row, have today off and work again tomorrow....yeah I don't know why I do things like these to myself, my body and mind aches, I'm so exhausted, I mean....I didn't even wake up in time to go to church, which sucks because I love going to church, and I wanted to go to church, and I needed to go to church :(

Anywho, now I'm here trying to update this blog, but really I don't know what to talk about because I'm so tired my brain is not functioning right, and all I wanna do is take a nap....yeap! I'm that lazy, hahaha, but everyone that truly knows me knows I love naps like I love the Jonas Brothers, and that is major!!!

No TN dates??

I need to keep up with this, because I'm hoping people actually read what I write. I have the time, it's just that I waste it in other things, hahaha.
So sadly, last week was the first time a patient died under my care, good thing is that I didn't kill her, even thou I did. Let me explain, she was dying, only a machine was keeping her breathing, she was alert, awake, and after weeks of being this way...almost dying....her and her family realized she was delaying the inevitable, so I was asked to sedate her and let her go...easier said than done. It took forever to get enough medication in her system for her to sleep calmly, and when I removed the bipap, I realized I was letting someone die...lets just say, it was no fun at all.

Enough, about that, I don't need to relive that moment in my life, :)

I'm excited that Taylor Swift released the tour dates, but I'm pissed she isn't coming to TN! WTF is that?!?! Hopefully she'll add cities, or do special side concerts like she did last year, and come to Chattanooga again! Now I need JB, Demi and Miley to release dates so I can plan my summer and ask for days off and look forward to something :)

Who Said Standing By A Door Wasn't Fun

I'm not keeping up with this like I should, but then again, I'm not sure if anyone is reading...but writing has always been my outlet, my way of dealing with things.this i Right now I do have a lot of things that I need to deal with, but I'm not ready to discuss them here, so I rather talk about the happy things in my life.
I wanna talk about how awesome was this past sunday. I wrote a note about it in my facebook, and basically this is gonna be the same as that one, maybe a few changes here and there, so if you do read it, thank you!

Since Thursday we were staying at Stone Mountain for the end of year conference thing that my dad's job always has, and Rina and I were planning to drive to Nashville (about 5 hrs) directly from Atlanta on Saturday night.
Thanks to the awesome TN weather we're not able to drive from Atlanta to Nashville overnight, so we drive home, get there at 11pm, get a text that the girls saw Jonas, eff my life, I leave a few hate comments in their profiles and go to sleep.

Leave on Sunday at 7am drive half asleep, almost ate a ditch. Stopped at Burger King for some breakfast, SUV with a Florida tag pulls next to us. WTF is a Florida car doing here, 4 teenies come out with their mom, oh crap Jonas fans for sure. We eat, oh crap, the teenies are leaving but I have to pee, we mad rush to catch up to them...oh wait we have tickets already, so we calm down.

Thank goodness for time zones, we get to Nashville at 9am, lay down in bed and half asleep I text the girls, we're here and they're leaving, WTF!

Nichole, Kelly, Kelly and Kristen stop by to say hi, show Jonas pictures, share the stories and show the tattoos and then leave. We decide to start getting ready because we need to find Jonas.

Jenny and Megan come to our room, we are finishing getting ready and get another text, the girls saw the boys again. Seriously someone shoot me now!

We drive downtown, pass by their hotel, random teenies walking around, nothing exciting, find parking, walk by the Ryman and see team teenie in the alley, they stare at us and Rina and Megan scream "Team Niley", "Team Miley", we fear for our lives so we keep walking.

Get to Hard Rock Cafe, we sit to eat while looking at the new Jonas pics, I'm nervous, I can't eat or I'll throw up. Nichole goes teenie over some lady I don't know. Waiter boy gets too excited about Jonas and wants to take Megan's money.

The girls leave and it starts to rain, we go to the car to get umbrellas and walk to the Ryman, get there and teenies are running, crap, run!!! get there, black SUVs, crap no effing way, Nichole says, you missed them again....WHAT THE EFF!!! What am I? a Jonas repellent??

Eff this, I run into the lobby with the teenies, bad actress girl starts crying about paying a bizillion dollars for her tickets and having to drive 200 hrs to get there and her dad having a heart attack 10 years ago and how all she wants is for JB to read her letter, after many tears, security takes the letter and the girl stops crying, I wanna stab her with my needle!

Go outside and watch teenies earn their name, Jonas is by the window. People running everywhere, finally everything calms down a bit. We hang around hoping to see them. Pictures with the Jonas car, both groups of girls split again.

We hear music coming from the Ryman, we put our ears to the doors, heck yes!! Jonas is having sound check, yessssss, It's that's just the way we roll, it's not all country, oh crap, I just died, they are singing hold on. Weird ass lady won't leave.

Another song is playing, which one is it? I don't recognize?
Rina: I bet it's superstition
All: No, it's something country
Rina: It's superstition
All: it's not, it's something country
**we all freeze** we scream our heads out, it's superstition!!!!! All teenies run thinking we saw Jonas, we text Nichole. They rehearse it again and Nichole is about to have sex with the door. Echo, Echo, everything turns quiet, crap Jonas can hear everything we are saying.

Yay, Megan and Shea are here!!! I's so happy. Teenies screaming yet again, Elvis is in the alley and Frankie waves from inside (frankie a.k.a old man with mustache and huge hand kneeling down pretending to be important)
Karleigh passes by with her tickets, covers face as if she was a celebrity, no one gives a crap.

It start pouring down, damn you rain!!! We huddle under the merchandise tent and get kicked out, huddle under an umbrella and get soaked anyways. After 2 hrs, it finally stops and it's time to go in.

We find seats, holy crap we're close, we look like shit because of the rain, but we don't care, because we are so close that we are gonna be able to see up the Jonas noses, yay for Jonas boogers! Nichole walks by with her face covered, Chris Koon is sitting a few seats down our row, security kicks him out, bahaha

I can see backstage, John Taylor, eep! Papa J waves at me, I feel special, Honor Society walks by, I thought Rina died.

Faith Hill and Tim McGraw, I already lost my voice....concert starts, and I forget about everything and go teenie, oh crap, gotta call ashley.

After tonight, Joe points at Nichole and says "She liked it", crap! I'm filming the floor, sorry Nichole, couldn't capture the moment. Kevin locks eyes with me, I die, he won't stop staring, do I have something in my face? It's getting uncomfortable, crap, I look away.

Performance after performance I get teenier and teenier (Martina McBride, Amy Grant, Steven Curtis Chapman, Michael W Smith and Honor Society) and basically loose it when Brad Paisley comes out.

Concert finishes and it starts pouring again, this time it is also windy and cold, we run to the car, get a text from Megan and Shea, the boys left according to John Taylor and they just met Honor Society, eff my life! Go to hotel anyways, stay outside, see Garbo talking to some chicks, we wave hopping for mercy, he sees us and walks away, bastard!

Go back to hotel, change clothes, drive Kristen and Kelly until we find the car, go to McDonalds, bastard won't take credit cards, we go to Jack In The Box, heaven sent, hang out with Nichole, Kelly, Kelly and Kristen, talk crap, Kristen talks about Nick, she won't let us look at the computer. We stare at Nick's face forever. We go to sleep.

Next morning, we hang for a bit, we take pics, we say goodbye, go our separate ways. Adventure is over, we'll do this again for sure!

Lessons Learned:
1. I need to glue myself to Nichole, I need to meet Jonas
2. Teenies have issues, but then again we knew that
3. Walgreens in Nashville are never open when needed
4. It will rain when you fix your hair
5. The more we make fun of him, the taller the heels on Kevin's boots get
6. It is possible to loose a car
7. Nick's face is hypnotizing
8. No matter what Joe does, he always wins us back
9. Kristen can never mention Taylor being bffs with Danielle again, ever
10. You can dry moccasins in the microwave, they will not explode, they'll get really hot and smoke a little, but will not explode

The concert in itself was amazing, I mean, the boys did amazing, their vocals and intrument paying was perfect, they sang a few of their songs, they did amazing covers, sang with amazing musicians, old songs, new songs, classics and my fave, christian songs. I screamed, laughed, danced, jumped, waved my arms, sang and teared up, because I felt I was part of a very special moment in music history, but most of all I was part of a very special moment in the boys' lives. YAY!