So...this happens all the time so I shoudn't be surprised. Once I sit to finally write something my mind goes blank and I don't know what to write about. But I guess even if I'm not inspired to write still have stuff to tell you all about.
First off, on Aug. 16 I went to my second Jonas show, which was fantastic! I had 8th row, but the way it was set up, we ended up being 4th row...eep! Got some amazing pics. Got meet and greet pics with Honor Society...who btw recognized me from DC as soon as I entered the room. It took me completely by surprise. After the concert we drove back home and slept for a few hrs before we took off to Orlando. In Orlando we saw Honor Society at the HOB in Downtown Disney, Andrew said hi to me from the stage, eep! We did meet and greets again that night, there were so adorable and nice. Then the next day we hung out at the Outlets in I-Drive, ate at the CheeseCake Factory (my fav. restaurant) with friends. Went to sleep super late talking and just plain doing nothing. The next day we went to Disney World...yay!! I know people don't understand me or my love for that place, but it is truly one of my favorite places to be...I completely let go of my worries and enjoy the day to the max. I'm a kid at heart, and my heart rejoices every time I go to Disney. I can't explain it, but I know there are people out there (like my sister and some of my friends) that understand completely what I mean.
At Disney, we went to Magic Kingdom, Epcot and Disney's Hollywood Studios, all in the same day, which left me at the end of the night, with the soarest legs I had had in years. Lack of sleep, jumping at concerts, standing in line for hrs, the heat, the lack of nutritional food, the overdrinking of sodas and not enough water, long hrs of driving...it all was starting to take a toll on me, and on friday I had to work. But thank God I was cancelled and got to sleep all day and gain back my strength.
On Monday Aug 24th, we took off to Nashville and went straight to 105.7 The River radio station to see Honor Society...again. I just love those boys sooo much! Got to seat front row, the boys hen they came in, immediately recognized me. Andrew winked at me 2 times! They answered my question about if I could be their nurse on tour, the laughed so hard :) Michael gave me his gitar pick. Then we did meet and greet pics. After that we hung out with out friends around the radio station and then took off to our hotel that happened to be next to the Hermitage where JB's band was staying, so we saw Garbo and Ryan smoking cigars (which was the biggest turn off ever for me)...but to our surprise, unexpectedly we see Nick Jonas come out of the hotel and bam! I took a pic with him and Papa J...it still hasn't hit me, really...
That night again we met him, Rina took a pic with him, he asked me if I wanted a picture but his security guard (Mike) kept trying to take him away so I just said no, cause I felt bad.
9 girls slept in the same hotel room...yeah...that was interesting.
On tuesday, concert day...we saw Nick Jonas again, this time I just recorded him being the perfect boy he is, and admired from the distance, hahaha. The FurBus girls reunited...Kasey, Ashley, Ciera, Rina and I. But I just realized that we didnt take a pic together...booo! After that we ate, saw the band again, walked to the venue and hung around until concert time...also saw Christa Black. The concert was one of the loudest, funnest concerts I have been to...it started with Honor Society and the crowd went insane, you could see in their faces that they were taken aback by how much the crowd was screaming for them. After their set we took off for meet and greets with HS again...and Gio, their security guard was gonna give me the instructions and he goes "never mind, you know the drill, you've done this plenty of times" which completely took me by surprise, because he recognized me, that is amazing! After the meet and greets, it was concert time and we barely made it on time! But the concert was fantastic!!!! so much fun!!! I wanted to cry 'cause it was my last JB concert, but I was having too good of a time to think too much about it.
After the concert, we tried going to eat to our favorite place...jack in the box, but it was closed....wtf??? After that we said our goodbyes and all the girls went their own way...well, actually Rina and I went out way and the rest went another way to their next concert...luckies.
And that was my adventure...2 weeks of just complete craziness, fun, laughs, sweat, jumps and just complete joy. I know I rushed through it...believe me, so much happened that I would have to write for few hrs, and I'm not exaggerating either, it was fantastic!!!
Saturday, August 29, 2009
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
More about nothing and a birthday
So I'm officially a year older than before...but a lady never reveals her age, so try guessing how old I am...damn! Who am I kidding, everyone knows my age, I am now 27 years OLD. My birthday was not very out of the ordinary, was at home by myself until like 5pm, tried going shopping and by myself some presents, but that was a total fail. Then bought me some yummy Ice Cream cake for that night. The best part was at night, because my dad grilled some meat, ribs and chicken, my mom made some amazing potato salad that I love. The food was amazing and got to eat with my family, who I love the most in the whole world!
So many things have happened in the last year that I now realize thinking about it. At this time last year I was still finishing things for the new unit (for those that don't know, unit is a floor/area in the hospital), I was getting ready for my first Jonas Brothers concert. Through out the year, I've improved as a nurse in so many levels, I've slowly started accepting myself the way I am, I have embraced my singleness and decided to enjoy it to the fullest. I've gone to many concerts, driven countless hours for them. I've embark in adventures with my faithful companion, best friend - my sister. I've let go of many things that used to hold me back, and I've started to learn how to have fun again. I've met so many new people...people that before I would have never talked to. I've fallen in love with music again...for a while I had given up on it.
But there is a bizillion things that I haven't accomplished in live that I thought I would by this age, but if I start thinking about them, I'll curl up into a ball in bed with a bucket of ice cream next to me and only songs that make me cry playing on my ipod. hahaha. And of course I'm nowhere near where I wanna be on my relationship with God, but that of course is all my fault. Another not so great thing that happened this past year, is my brother separating from his wife. I wanna cry everytime I think about it. I know some people are like, so what, everyone get a divorce. But I never thought it would actually happen to my brother and Amber. And Amber such a big part of out family, she was basically my sister too, one of my best friends. She was a daughter to my parents, even my dogs loved her. All my pictures from the past 4-5 years, she's in them, our family pictures have always included her. It's been 7 months since she told him she wanted to separate, and there's still no explanation for it. I'm still in the dark, trying to figure out what happened. It kills me to see my brother hurting. And I'm gonna stop now 'cause my eyes are getting watery.
Amongst other things, I got the results of my genetic testing, and I do not have Lynch Disease, which basically means that I don't have a mutated gene. If I did, I would have an 80% of getting colon cancer again by the time I'm 35, and a 78% of getting uterine cancer by the time I'm 40, amongst several other cancers. But now, I can relax because my chances of getting those cancers are like anyone else in the world. Of course the doctors are still worried because I was so young when I got colon cancer and because no one in my family has a history of it, so when it comes to that type of cancer I'm still at risk, and I still have to have a colonoscopy every year...yuck! And by yuck I mean, disgusting crap that I have to drink to....crap. I don't care about the tube shoved up my butt because well...I don't even realized it because I'm so drugged up during the procedure. And by the way, not to sound weird, but I love that feeling of getting anesthesia, that moment when you feel the medicine enter your body, and you get really sleepy, and I put my life on God's hand and fall asleep into one of the most profound sleeps ever, and when you wake up is all over, and you don't even know the time of the day. Yeah, so people freak out about that. I, in the other hand, love it!
Of course, I'm not really normal, I have no shame to talk about penises, poop, and weird things on people's bodies. I've only been a nurse for 5 years, but I've seen my share of things, and I love to share it with the world, of course, the world hates it when I share it. That's why, I love joking around with my fellow nurses, they understand...and sometimes we sit around sharing the nastiest, grosses things we can think of, just to see who gets grossed out first. I know...nasty and crazy, but that's the nurses' humor for you.
And I just went off on a tangent...so I'm gonna stop writing before I start telling you people about stuff I shouldn't be sharing about patients. Tomorrow I'm going to Nashville to see Demi Lovato in concert, should be fun.
So many things have happened in the last year that I now realize thinking about it. At this time last year I was still finishing things for the new unit (for those that don't know, unit is a floor/area in the hospital), I was getting ready for my first Jonas Brothers concert. Through out the year, I've improved as a nurse in so many levels, I've slowly started accepting myself the way I am, I have embraced my singleness and decided to enjoy it to the fullest. I've gone to many concerts, driven countless hours for them. I've embark in adventures with my faithful companion, best friend - my sister. I've let go of many things that used to hold me back, and I've started to learn how to have fun again. I've met so many new people...people that before I would have never talked to. I've fallen in love with music again...for a while I had given up on it.
But there is a bizillion things that I haven't accomplished in live that I thought I would by this age, but if I start thinking about them, I'll curl up into a ball in bed with a bucket of ice cream next to me and only songs that make me cry playing on my ipod. hahaha. And of course I'm nowhere near where I wanna be on my relationship with God, but that of course is all my fault. Another not so great thing that happened this past year, is my brother separating from his wife. I wanna cry everytime I think about it. I know some people are like, so what, everyone get a divorce. But I never thought it would actually happen to my brother and Amber. And Amber such a big part of out family, she was basically my sister too, one of my best friends. She was a daughter to my parents, even my dogs loved her. All my pictures from the past 4-5 years, she's in them, our family pictures have always included her. It's been 7 months since she told him she wanted to separate, and there's still no explanation for it. I'm still in the dark, trying to figure out what happened. It kills me to see my brother hurting. And I'm gonna stop now 'cause my eyes are getting watery.
Amongst other things, I got the results of my genetic testing, and I do not have Lynch Disease, which basically means that I don't have a mutated gene. If I did, I would have an 80% of getting colon cancer again by the time I'm 35, and a 78% of getting uterine cancer by the time I'm 40, amongst several other cancers. But now, I can relax because my chances of getting those cancers are like anyone else in the world. Of course the doctors are still worried because I was so young when I got colon cancer and because no one in my family has a history of it, so when it comes to that type of cancer I'm still at risk, and I still have to have a colonoscopy every year...yuck! And by yuck I mean, disgusting crap that I have to drink to....crap. I don't care about the tube shoved up my butt because well...I don't even realized it because I'm so drugged up during the procedure. And by the way, not to sound weird, but I love that feeling of getting anesthesia, that moment when you feel the medicine enter your body, and you get really sleepy, and I put my life on God's hand and fall asleep into one of the most profound sleeps ever, and when you wake up is all over, and you don't even know the time of the day. Yeah, so people freak out about that. I, in the other hand, love it!
Of course, I'm not really normal, I have no shame to talk about penises, poop, and weird things on people's bodies. I've only been a nurse for 5 years, but I've seen my share of things, and I love to share it with the world, of course, the world hates it when I share it. That's why, I love joking around with my fellow nurses, they understand...and sometimes we sit around sharing the nastiest, grosses things we can think of, just to see who gets grossed out first. I know...nasty and crazy, but that's the nurses' humor for you.
And I just went off on a tangent...so I'm gonna stop writing before I start telling you people about stuff I shouldn't be sharing about patients. Tomorrow I'm going to Nashville to see Demi Lovato in concert, should be fun.
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Something about love maybe
So nothing interesting is going on in my life right now. I'm always doing something, but I don't think anything is worth mentioning.
One of my best friends (she's from Orlando) is getting married this Saturday. I found this out from another good friend, not even from her! I had to find out that she had a boyfriend through facebook, and I thought they had known each other for a while. Come to find out she's known him for like a month and they've been dating for only 3 weeks!! He's from Morocco, his visa expires in January, he barely speaks the language and he's muslim. I'm not sure how to tell her not to do it. I don't want her to get mad at me and then not talk to me period. I'm just afraid that she's going to marry him because she thinks she won't have another chance to marry someone, that she won't fin someone to love her. Believe me, sometimes I'm scare I'll do the same. Sometimes think that if someone comes around that likes me but he's not good for me, I'm gonna be with him because I don"t think I'm gonna find someone else to love me.
.....
On another note...Christa Black majorly rules! Her blogs make me cry, she writes as she is reading my thoughts, how amazing is that? Today she wrote about crushes...and damn! she's good. Becausse she posted it as I was writing about my friend. Just in time...just as I was to stupidly write that I at least want someone to crush on that not have anyone at all in my life.
"i would pray and pray and pray that God would take it away....but i thought so much about him, it was impossible not to feel something. i didn't have anyone around me i was even remotely attracted to...so it became very easy to glorify this situation, and make it a heck of a lot bigger than it actually was. and as sad as this sounds....because i never had anyone, the torture of liking someone who didn't like me back was better than having no one on the horizon. or at least i thought." - Christa Black
That right there is exactly what my life has been about for the last....hmmm....3 years? Then she goes on and writes this
"i gave my heart to someone...the thing that my life flowed out of...my emotions, my days...my speech...EVERYTHING....i handed that heart to someone who had never fought to pursue it, or even shown interest to earn it. your soul is your mind, your will, and your emotions, and i'd handed him my soul without him doing anything. it did nothing to affect him....but it was ruining every day of my life."
There is nothing more that a woman wants than to be persued and have a man fight for her heart, to make her feel worth the persue. And when I read this, it hit me...when did I forget about all of this? when did I forget about what I always wanted? A guy that will fight for me. I want to be loved, treasured, feel beautiful, held tightly, romanced. And I will be praying for that from now on. I'm gonna stop writing now, because I have a few tears rolling down my face, and I'm afraid I'm gonna start rambling.
PS. This song by Christa Black is just.....perfect
HOLDING MY HEART
why do you have to be everything i'm looking for
why do you have to be something that i don't have
why do our worlds collide when you live far on the other side
there must be a million miles between everything we are
why do i miss you when i've never had you and
why do i give something that you've never earned
CHORUS:
why are you holding my heart
why are you holding my heart (when you don't even know)
you're holding my heart
why are you holding my heart
when you don't even know
know that you hold the keys
i shouldn't have put into your hands
without knowing anything
without knowing enough
how do i fight something when i'm so tired of feeling
and why do i give what you haven't yet deserved
CHORUS:
why are you holding my heart
why are you holding my heart (when you don't even know)
you're holding my heart
why are you holding my heart
when you don't even know
BRIDGE:
it's been three years, three years too long
i've climbed this hill
i've prayed to rewrite the song
but when i see you all my walls fall down, down, down
down, down, down
www.myspace.com/christablack
One of my best friends (she's from Orlando) is getting married this Saturday. I found this out from another good friend, not even from her! I had to find out that she had a boyfriend through facebook, and I thought they had known each other for a while. Come to find out she's known him for like a month and they've been dating for only 3 weeks!! He's from Morocco, his visa expires in January, he barely speaks the language and he's muslim. I'm not sure how to tell her not to do it. I don't want her to get mad at me and then not talk to me period. I'm just afraid that she's going to marry him because she thinks she won't have another chance to marry someone, that she won't fin someone to love her. Believe me, sometimes I'm scare I'll do the same. Sometimes think that if someone comes around that likes me but he's not good for me, I'm gonna be with him because I don"t think I'm gonna find someone else to love me.
.....
On another note...Christa Black majorly rules! Her blogs make me cry, she writes as she is reading my thoughts, how amazing is that? Today she wrote about crushes...and damn! she's good. Becausse she posted it as I was writing about my friend. Just in time...just as I was to stupidly write that I at least want someone to crush on that not have anyone at all in my life.
"i would pray and pray and pray that God would take it away....but i thought so much about him, it was impossible not to feel something. i didn't have anyone around me i was even remotely attracted to...so it became very easy to glorify this situation, and make it a heck of a lot bigger than it actually was. and as sad as this sounds....because i never had anyone, the torture of liking someone who didn't like me back was better than having no one on the horizon. or at least i thought." - Christa Black
That right there is exactly what my life has been about for the last....hmmm....3 years? Then she goes on and writes this
"i gave my heart to someone...the thing that my life flowed out of...my emotions, my days...my speech...EVERYTHING....i handed that heart to someone who had never fought to pursue it, or even shown interest to earn it. your soul is your mind, your will, and your emotions, and i'd handed him my soul without him doing anything. it did nothing to affect him....but it was ruining every day of my life."
There is nothing more that a woman wants than to be persued and have a man fight for her heart, to make her feel worth the persue. And when I read this, it hit me...when did I forget about all of this? when did I forget about what I always wanted? A guy that will fight for me. I want to be loved, treasured, feel beautiful, held tightly, romanced. And I will be praying for that from now on. I'm gonna stop writing now, because I have a few tears rolling down my face, and I'm afraid I'm gonna start rambling.
PS. This song by Christa Black is just.....perfect
HOLDING MY HEART
why do you have to be everything i'm looking for
why do you have to be something that i don't have
why do our worlds collide when you live far on the other side
there must be a million miles between everything we are
why do i miss you when i've never had you and
why do i give something that you've never earned
CHORUS:
why are you holding my heart
why are you holding my heart (when you don't even know)
you're holding my heart
why are you holding my heart
when you don't even know
know that you hold the keys
i shouldn't have put into your hands
without knowing anything
without knowing enough
how do i fight something when i'm so tired of feeling
and why do i give what you haven't yet deserved
CHORUS:
why are you holding my heart
why are you holding my heart (when you don't even know)
you're holding my heart
why are you holding my heart
when you don't even know
BRIDGE:
it's been three years, three years too long
i've climbed this hill
i've prayed to rewrite the song
but when i see you all my walls fall down, down, down
down, down, down
www.myspace.com/christablack
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